A week of remembrance: Dad’s Birthday is the 22nd, 1923 and anniversary of his passing on the 25th, 2012.
My dad was a sweet, soft spoken man, with a wonderful dry wit he inherited from my grandpa! He adored my mom, which was SO evident especially as they aged! He would climb through a raised garden at their assisted living to retrieve as many cherry tomatoes as she wanted! He loved anything Mom loved – to the point where she was annoyed because he always ordered the same thing she ordered at a restaurant!
He served his church faithfully, with his beautiful baritone voice (even sang a solo for the Messiah once, with me on the organ!), and as a deacon. He worked very hard at a job he acquired from his Aunt Sigrid, which was the reason we moved from Chicago to Detroit when Uncle David passed away….later changing the name to the Cardinal Pallet Company, after his love for his favorite bird!
Amy’s artwork for his Memorial Bulletin
Late in his life, he wrote a short story about his life as a 12 year old. Aunt Val, Aunt June (his sisters) and I were able to edit and publish it before he passed.. my only regret is not doing it sooner. it was about life during the depression when Grandma & Grandpa (Helga & Henry Fluegge) built a trailer and travelled to Florida for the winter because they couldn’t afford coats and boots to stay in Chicago. It’s a lovely, short read.
When we were young, he saved all year to be able to take Alan, Mom and me on a fantastic 4 week camping trip every summer – hitting most of the states in my childhood! He taught us to love God, live an honest life, be generous, love your family and your country. I miss you everyday Dad, but know you’re with Jesus, Mom and all the saints who went before you! I was truly blessed!
Thank you for selecting my mom, Lucille, to name a dash after her!
Lucille Paulsen Fluegge was born in Chicago in 1923, and grew up during the depression, which formed a lot of who she was, married young and raised us boomer-kids.
I always remember her as somewhat Sassy, with a touch of Sweet! She was very frugal and selective with how she spent her money.. she made me all my clothes, canned sweet chili in the fall, and cooked pot roasts, fried chicken or cabbage rolls for Sunday dinner…. When we usually entertained another family from Our church who had kids our age.
She was a Spiritual woman… volunteered at church for Pioneer Girls… and could get every baby to sleep in the nursery on Sunday mornings.
She was very Supportive of me, and delicately “encouraged” me in my Piano lessons, for which I am grateful, since I was able to make a career out of my music!
She adored her family! She was very Supportive while we raised our kids pursuing our careers and adored her grandchildren. She could be Silly too… and loved to play on the playground with them.. and Swing, even at her grandson’s college graduation !
Later, even when she had dementia and was in nursing care, her Sweet & Sassy personality was a constant. She always was able to make anyone Smile who walked by her or sat near her. And could give me her Snarky Stink-eye when I wore the dreaded red lipstick or nail polish! (I’m her day, red was only worn by floozies! 😆 )
I am honored that Red Aspen considered my nomination of my mom, a woman who, to me, exemplified our Mission Statement… Strong, Spiritual, Sweet, Supportive… with a bit of a Sass!! Love you, Mom.
I had the privilege of attending my uncle’s 90th birthday party! This man has been a missionary in Uruguay, Costa Roca, Ecuador, Peru, and Aruba while raising 4 beautiful daughters (my cousins!). When he retired, because of his fluency with the Spanish language, he began touring with Billy Graham and preceded the South American tours. At 90 years of age, he will be traveling to Peru on a speaking engagement next week! He just won the men’s golf championship in his community with a score of 76!
He is fun, smart, active, loves his daughters, grands amd great grandchildren and my dear Aunt Val…. and loves the Lord!
I pray for him many more years of an active lifestyle and great health! Happy Birthday “Old” Man! I aspire to be like you when I grow up!
This time of year, I reflect on all the activities of April, 2013; preparing to leave a 3000 sf house we had lived in for 25 years, packing and planning an estate sale, saying goodbye to an immense network of friends and organizations, and my mom. Little did I know this would be my last view and memory of her. She was so peaceful, yet so tired, she even sucked down her sweet tea with her eyes closed. I can only pray that I kissed her cheek before I left her.. I had hoped to visit one more time before we got into our car and drove the 2600 mile trip, but it didn’t happen.
One never knows the last time you will see your loved one, (I was planning bi-monthly visits to Michigan), but one week after arriving in Portland, mom took her last breath. Love and leave your loved ones as though you may never see them again. Forgive them. Play with them. Hug 🤗 them. Love ❤️ them. Only God knows the time and season of our lives.
I have shared so many precious Moments with Mary, and I don’t want to forget one of them!
It’s impossible to sit and chat with someone on a weekly basis, and not learn from them! Mary and I got into a routine of having Happy Hour together every Thursday afternoon! At first she told me I didn’t have to sit with an old lady every week, but I convinced her that not only did I enjoy it, but looked forward to it, partly because she was close in age to what my mom would have been, and I would give anything to sit and chat with mom! But because I truly enjoyed her company. So, she agreed! And the friendship blossomed! (And she has so many characteristics the same as mom: Sweet…. Sassy… Spiritual!)
Lessons learned, memories recorded:
• you can be 96 yo and still have your own teeth!
• cherish the friends and family who cherish you, and when you are older, they will help care for you!
Jan, Gwen, Caroline, MaryAnaKaren – hairdresser for YEARS! Son, Jeff SeatsAnnette & Brian Seats (DIL & son)
• even 90 year olds can appreciate the beauty of men, like Nick Clooney (George’s Dad – mom always had a crush on Clark Gable)!
• do as many things for yourself, even when you’re not feeling well (Mary reached in her upper cupboard to get us sugar so we could make Snickerdoodles!)
Lilia & Benjamin borrowed sugar to make Snickerdoodles, then gave Mary a plate of cookies!
• it’s possible to be Catholic and have a (formerly) Baptist friend and realize we both love the same Lord!
• people, parties, and planning them, are enough to make you feel great, even when you don’t!
• sharing your life & faith with others is extremely important!
The church of “St Mary”!!
• staying close to God is a priority…. meditation and daily prayer is necessary
• giving is a gift! I have so many small gifted reminders from her in my home, I will not soon forget her.
Mug with her Mom’s painting on it Painting by Ruza Erceg, Mary’s Mom who began painting memories of Croatia at the age of 60!
• family is everything! And so are friends! Will certainly miss our summer times on her patio!
• learn from those who know more than you! Mary knew so much about politics, society, life…. and I was happy to learn from her! Will SO miss that.
• getting hair and nails done regularly is as important as showering daily, and putting on earrings and lipstick!
When the Covid Lockdown began, she let me do you nails with Gel Strips! she was a stickler for manicures and pedicures! Even at the end…. she went to the salon with Caroline about 3 weeks prior.
• love your country enough to care about and VOTE so your kids and grandkids have a good life!
• childhood friends are important! Like Father Neil Moore! And her kindergarten friend who lives in Clinton Twp. Michigan!
• a great marriage is worth cherishing, even when one partner is gone….
• celebrate ALL the milestones!
• you’re never too old to learn something new, like FaceTiming, and calling YouTube by voice on your TV!
She FaceTimed everyone… sometimes unintentionally!
• Enjoy gardening, and houseplants!
She gave me a cutting of this Hoya! Her gardens are always pristine and colorful!
• decorate for every season!
• Surround yourself with things you love, and lovingly display them to enjoy.
She loved to share her Her vast Nativity Collection from many parts of the world . Lilia was enthralled!
• and she so generously shared things she loved, with those who loved her!
• Mary… you leave a huge hole in my heart that cannot be filled, but I’m thrilled that you are cancer free, free from pain, and in Heaven with the Lord you worshipped, your husband, Bob, mom & dad, sisters Liz, Millie, Virginia, and brother, Joe.
She wanted a picture together cuz we matched!
• yes, you DO make old age look good! Rest In Peace, sweet friend! I love you!
To quote one of my favorite people: “It is what it is”! (Mary Seats)
Life & Death…
My experiences will run the gamut today.. As I make breakfast, a life-sustaining act, I’m happily singing as I anticipate going to a meeting with my husband, who is steering up an exciting event in our community! I’m excited to see people, albeit social distanced and masked, who are fun loving and wonderful.
I need to leave the meeting a little early to be with my friend for the afternoon, also wonderful and fun-loving, but not today. Mary is now bedridden and facing her last days. My emotions run high, as I’m thrilled to be blessed with some time with her, but know that the moments will be fewer and fewer…. if she even makes it to next week.
I am reminded of the future, life ahead, as memories come up of pix of our grandchildren and kids, the lives they will lead, and Lord willing we will get to see! That is life – and exciting as well.
But I also know that to experience life, we must also experience death. I am excited to sit with Mary, hold her hand (maybe give her a hand massage!), chat about her life (one way most likely), even if she’s sleeping, and just spend time with this sweet woman.
I am ready to release her to her Lord, and stop her suffering, but will cherish whatever moments God gives us together.
Last week, my humanity was challenged, and it got me thinking. Have I lost my love for humanity? For those less fortunate than I? So I did an inventory, exploring what we may have invested in others these past years here in Portland.
I have never liked to “toot my horn” or call attention to myself, but here are a few things we have become involved in.
Love Portland – an organization that cleans up the landscape in Portland schools in August so they are pleasant for the kids to return to in the fall.
Portland Rescue Mission – sang for and have served food – chatted with the homeless there.
Holla – an organization for troubled teenage girls of color in Portland that trains them to be world class basketball players.
Donated and delivered with my grandkids Fifty some Blessing Bags full of goodies for parents of foster kids at our church.
Shopped with my grandkids to give Christmas gifts to needy children their age.
Sang at a gala that raised money for the homeless.
Taught Amy’s HS art classes how to crochet – and they made about 100 Joey-pouches that were sent to Australia during the fires last year.
And now, since Covid has shut us down, and made our world smaller, I’ve taken to helping people closer to home here in our 55+ community:
Teaching ladies how to use their smartphones.
Walking dogs of those who for whatever reason cannot (broken knee, back surgery, etc)
Found ways to be able to gather and socialize safely, so that we can connect.
Checking on and making sure our shut-ins are ok – bringing groceries if needed.
Caring for my 96 year old neighbor one or two times a week so her son gets a break.
Recording music for 96 yo neighbor to keep her uplifted…inspired. Also taught her to watch YouTube on TV so she can watch mass everyday – and taught her to FaceTime family and friends.
Led a women’s singing group in my living room BC (Before Covid) when our clubhouse shut down for renovation and we couldn’t have choir.
Well… I guess it’s good to take stock occasionally, to make sure your life has purpose. I hope and pray that I will always have a purpose, and a love for humanity, even if it’s only to make someone smile, as I noticed my mom did in the nursing home.
So, when my humanity is questioned as to why I didn’t feel I should go to a sushi place in a neighborhood downtown, at dusk, as a 70 year old woman parking and walking alone, because I didn’t feel safe, I know it has nothing to do with whether or not I’m judging people, or whether or not I care about them, but only that I need to trust my street smarts, and those of my daughter, who felt she needed to escort me back to my car.
Many of my friends may not know that this young man is the reason we live in Portland. He is the reason our grandkids were born here. He is the reason our son, Jonathan, moved here about 20 years ago. He is the reason Amy Stewart moved here shortly after. If he hadn’t moved here, Jon wouldn’t have met and married Lindsay. If it wasn’t for his deep friendship with Jon, we all wouldn’t be in the Pacific Northwest.
Kevin Rauch (the Rauch Factor!) and Jon were best friends since High School, roommates in college at Western Michigan University sharing not only their rooms, but also their degrees! Both had a Bachelors Degree in Field Hydro Geology. First, Kevin and Jeanean moved here, Jon visited them, then settled here shortly after. The rest is history.
Kevin also was instrumental in getting both our kids to Rock Climb, which is where his first symptoms of ALS were made apparent. Kevin has been gone 11 years now. He left behind his wonderful wife , Jeanean and son, Andrew, with whom we are happy to have the title of surrogate-PNW grandparents! His own grandparents, Tom & Judy Rauch, live in Michigan. We are so proud of how Jeanean keeps his dad alive for Andrew and how he honors his father daily. He is an extremely gifted young man and loves music, singing and acting! If it weren’t for Kevin, I wonder where we all would be?
I wrote this last year (2019): Peace amidst Chaos….
This time of year, I reflect on all the activities of 6 years ago; preparing to leave a 3000 sf house we had lived in for 25 years, packing and planning an estate sale, saying goodbye to an immense network of friends and organizations, and my mom. Little did I know this would be my last view and memory of her. She was so peaceful, yet so tired, she even sucked down her sweet tea with her eyes closed. I can only pray that I kissed her cheek before I left her.. I had hoped to visit one more time before we got into our car and drove the 2600 mile trip, but it didn’t happen.
One never knows the last time you will see your loved one, (I was planning bi-monthly visits to Michigan), but one week after arriving in Portland, mom took her last breath. Love and leave your loved ones as though you may never see them again. Forgive them. Play with them. Hug 🤗 them. Love ❤️ them. Only God knows the time and season of our lives.
Mom. You taught me how to be a mom. Memories and thoughts of you….as a child , waking early to peek at you reading your Bible, not wanting to interrupt your private time with God as you started your day; smelling your fantastic Chili Sauce down the street as I walked home from school in the fall; Mon and Thurs, laundry days, Friday Dust and vacuum, Monday and Wed… bathroom and kitchen; summer sausage and cracker lunches in the car on our summer vacations; teaching me to knit; pioneer girls; making mittens for the Russell girls at Christmas; baking Cinnamon Rolls (aka Sticky Buns) with grandma Paulsen; taking the train to Chicago; going by bus to Hudson’s in Detroit to shop for school; you showed me what it’s like to love your husband; you taught me how to “give” selflessly; you taught me the beauty of being a grandma to the point of making us move to Portland (!); you taught me that God loves me and to follow His plan for my life! All these things I tried to teach my kids and hope to teach our grands! Love you mom!
Journey with Jan and Jim 